A Man’s Fairy Tail
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?”
The Princess said, “No!!!”
And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and dated skinny long-legged full-breasted women and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated ladies half his age and drank whiskey, beer, and Captain Morgan and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and dated cheerleaders and kept his house and ate spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.
Well as time went by in her enchanted and privileged world she thought would never end. Her biological clock kept ticking… and ticking. Ticking so loudly you could almost hear it. She kept getting older and older, she started to gain weight, and had developed “crow’s feet”. She discovered princes were no longer interested in her anymore because they wanted and could get younger more attractive princesses that had tight asses and didn’t have sagging boobs like hers. They wanted princesses that weren’t all consuming bitches like her that thought the world revolved around them. Much to her chagrin she wasn’t getting offers of marriage anymore.
So, much to her mortification she actually had to develop a nice personality and at least pretend to be a pleasant person to be around. She had to grudgingly put others before herself. She learned that to even get a prince to look at her or even talk to her, she had to at least make-believe not to be the bitch she knew she was and hide that evil, vile, bitch living inside of her that was screaming so badly to come out you could almost hear its howling blood curdling scream in the dark of a misty night. Lurking in the shadows you could just imagine the feel of its heavy warm breath just inches from your neck. Wanting to come out and seek whom it may sink its bloody fangs into. Dripping from the blood of so many past men and into its new victims, so to devour them as she had done so many times, so coldly, and so callously in the past. She now had to be nice to people and pretend she was interested in what they had to say rather than talk about herself. She also discovered people where no longer pretending to be interested in what she had to say. She learned that it’s not all about her, she had to learn to pretend not to be a bitch and to not be a so all-consuming selfish one at that, and had to work at trying to look pretty. It didn’t come so easy and naturally to her like it had in the past.
She was getting old and rapidly approaching the wall and she knows it. Gravity had not been kind her. Things are changing, changing fast, and not for the better. She is beginning to get desperate and these desperate times called for desperate actions.
She finally found a prince that took pity on her and agreed to date her with the understanding he didn’t want to marry her or have children. This selfish evil little bitch wanted both and so she hatched an evil, wicked, and vile plan of deceit, deception, and lies she thought would trick the prince into marring her. She lied to him, deceive him, gave it up easy and pretended to like sex in hopes of trapping him into her deceitful web of vile lies, despicable treachery, abhorrent deceit, and dishonest sex. The promise of love was written on her face. She led him on with untrue kisses. Kisses she only pretended to feel. She held him captive in her false embrace. Sweetness was only heart aches camouflaged. The love he saw in her was just a mirage. Just like the desert shows a thirsty man, green oasis where there’s only sand.
She had to ask him to marry her not once, not twice, but many times and he kept refusing. This was quite a change for her to have to be the one asking to get married. The prince kept saying no but told her he would be willing to continue to date her. This wasn’t enough for this selfish little bitch. She wanted it all. She wanted to sink her already bloody fangs deeply into him. So she hatched a fool proof plan to trap him….. or so she thought.
Here is her story. The story of lies, deceit, betrayal, and sex. The story of the evil, deceitful, lying princess bitch that was never heard from again:
One for fun:
The Best Letter Ever Written: